Jorge wants to be hardcore, but his mom won't let him

(final grade update: I got the rest of my grades back, and I ended up with a B in genetics, cell bio and painting, and a B- in organic chem. I expected to do better in painting, and I wanted to do better in cell bio, but I also expected to do a lot worse in genetics and organic chem, so it all worked out in the end. my cumulative GPA right now is a 3.14 which isn't the best, but it's ok, and next year should be a lot easier so I should be able to boost it a lot. and, barring some unforeseen disaster, I'm going to graduate right on time! I'm just glad that horrible semester is over and I can focus on getting healthy this summer, having fun, and working at my internship.)

(Patagonia dress with Forever 21 tank top underneath, Payless boots from ~10 years ago, earrings and necklace that used to belong to my mom)

today it was raining torrentially all day, so I had to wear a warmer and more waterproof outfit than I normally would this time of year. this outfit kind of exemplifies the contrast between "pretty" and "tough" that I kind of go for in a lot of my outfits. the dress, the jewelry, and the sparkliness of the eye makeup are "pretty," but the boots, the leather jacket, and the darkness of the eye makeup are "tough." it might seem a little excessive for what I did today (going to the dentist and doing EVEN MORE shopping...yes I know I appear to be shopping excessively but I was actually buying stuff I need, and I want to have all my errands done with before I start my internship....) but I haven't had the time to dress up or put on makeup in a while, so it made me happy.

my mom has all of these unintentionally awesome things lying around the house. these boots are one of them. we've had them for years...might as well put them to good use, right? especially since I don't seem to have brought any waterproof shoes home with me. they're so giant and clunky. they make me feel like an anime character or something. I will definitely be wearing these a lot this summer, especially as it's going to rain all week.

this is the nail polish I'm wearing right now. it's the Sally Hansen Smooth and Perfect nail polish in the color "Sea" and it looks even better in person. it's this really 1970s mint green color. it was $6, which is normally way more than I'd pay for nail polish, but mint green is one of my favorite colors ever (I'm always on the lookout for the perfect mint green chiffon vintage dress but I haven't found it yet) and cheaper nail polishes don't generally have good pastels. unfortunately I'm not that good at putting on nail polish but hopefully I will get better!

so, who's ready to kick some Christian keister?

I really really want to do an outfit post (it's been, what? 4 weeks?) but I just got home from college yesterday and I haven't gotten a chance to wear anything that awesome yet. I've spent the past day and a half chilling at home, getting over my demon cough from outer space (which was apparently strep, yikes!), walking 7 miles, and doing massive amounts of shopping. you guys, I spent over $70 at fucking Rite Aid! (and that's not counting the medicine I got there for my strep) I don't even know how, I just bought all this drugstore makeup and expensive face moisturizer for my finicky skin and stuff for my purse and contact lens stuff and somehow, that's what it totalled to. well, at least I won't have to go to the drugstore for the entire rest of the summer probably. my mom, her boyfriend and I are going hiking at Bear Mountain tomorrow, but hopefully I'll get to wear some nice outfits later on this week when I actually start hanging out with my friends and going places. and hopefully I'll be able to hit up No Relation Vintage and the vintage store in Bushwick too! I haven't gone clothes shopping, apart from some online purchases, in almost 2 months.

anyway, I feel like my stress over finals has caused me not to keep true to the aesthetics of this blog in the past few weeks. (btw, more finals-related good news: I got a B- in organic chem! I passed!! I never have to take it again!!! I might actually graduate on time!!!!) so, since I can't do an outfit post yet, I'm going to do a "cool vintage stuff from ebay" post instead! all of these articles of clothing are things I would hypothetically consider buying. I also linked to all of them in case y'all want to place bids on any of them.

(by the way, I realized I've used up almost half of my Picasa Web Albums storage...yikes! does anyone know how I can keep uploading photos without having to pay for extra storage? is there another blog hosting service I should use or something?)

Link. do you guys remember in the late 90s when camo print, cargo stuff, and that greenish kind of khaki was all the rage? this is like the best possible incarnation of that. the only way it could possibly be better is if the skirt was actually a skort. too bad it's a size 10-12. I would wear this with thigh-highs and my gray plaid wedges for maximum girl power. maybe even a headband.



Link. I feel like this would either look great or terrible depending on whether it fit perfectly or not. but it's velvet and has brass kind of buttons! that gives it like 10 extra awesome points right there. I've really been into those kind of baggy tank tops with giant armholes that show off your bra lately. I cut all of my band t-shirts that aren't already crop tops or rare vintage shirts into that. I would wear this with giant sunglasses, combat boots, if I ever get around to getting my vintage combat boots fixed, a bra in some conspicuous color like bubblegum pink, and a choker (I should totally buy a choker!) I am aware how tacky and hipster that would look, rest assured that would be the look I was intentionally going for.

Link. you guys know how much of a sucker I am for pretty floaty vintage floral dresses of modest length. I would wear this with a headband, my peridot necklace, robin's-egg blue nail polish, and my Jeffrey Campbell mesh sneakers, or maybe my black pumps if I didn't have to do much walking.

Link. this dress kind of reminds me of Zooey Deschanel's wedding dress from 500 Days of Summer. not that I actually liked that movie or anything (in fact, I hated it). anyway, I would probably wear this with my leather jacket and combat boots, just because, and angry eye makeup. then I would drink an entire bottle of whiskey. (yeah right, I have the worst alcohol tolerance known to man)

Link. since I'm in the market for denim shorts right now, these especially caught my eye. too bad they're too big for me. I kind of want those high-waisted 80s mom kind of shorts. I would wear these with some kind of loose-fitting black tank top (or maybe my Locust crop top), giant sunglasses, a long silver necklace, and aforementioned mesh sneakers.

Link. the perfect top for 90-degree weather. I would wear this with denim shorts, some kind of obnoxious bright-colored nail polish, and my Baby Phat converses (I know that sounds awful, but they're actually pretty cool, and they were a gift.)

Link. this is the perfect summer/witch/hipster skirt. it's actually from the 80s though. who knew they had that awful mullet-hem trend back in the day too? I really like the tank top it's paired with in this photo. I would probably wear it with a black crop top, my dangly silver abalone shell earrings and spiky abalone necklace, thigh highs and combat boots if the weather permitted, and my 90s platform sandals otherwise.

Link. I actually really really want a dress like this. too bad people have bid on this one already which means I probably wouldn't be able to afford it. I would wear it pretty much exactly the same way as the mannequin here is wearing it, except with less pointy shoes. I might also shorten the skirt to above the knee, not sure.

and to end this post, here are some more late 90s vibes courtesy of Burlington Coat Factory (which is an outlet store where you can get nice things for cheap, and ridiculous things also for cheap). I bought this wristlet thing there today, since I'm going to be turning 21 in September and going out a lot more so I'll need a bag for that. isn't the print on this bag so oldskool? I even remember my cousin having stuff from this brand (the brand is called XOXO if you can't read it) circa 2001. anyway, it makes me happy to look at. this was around $10 (marked down from $28).

I also bought this wallet there, since my old one (which I've had since I was 13) was totally falling apart. it's all classy and stuff! I was surprised at my tastes, too. but it's giant. it's literally the same size as the wristlet.

everything is so organized! the side pockets are the exact right size to keep my money completely hidden, but let receipts stick out so I remember they're in there. it even has a coin purse on the back. this wallet was $11 (marked down from $32!).

this is the wallet I originally wanted, from artist Sarah Utter of Buy Olympia. (she's the girlfriend (wife?) of Justin Trosper, the former frontman of one of my favorite bands ever, Unwound, which is how I discovered her stuff). normally I'm not into stuff this...twee...but I really like this for some reason. however, it was $20 + shipping and didn't have quite the amount of card pockets I need, so I decided to get the other one instead. I might get this one for my birthday or something, even though I usually don't like having extra bags/wallets/etc.

I'm done!

finally, this horrible, horrible semester is over! and I even got a B in genetics! (other grades are forthcoming)

as a celebration of these two things, I made a new summer break packing video. you may remember that I made a winter break packing video at the end of last semester, but I deleted it because it was really disorganized. I will probably redo it next winter, and hopefully put in more elements of the actual process with which I pack.

I'm hoping to do a lot more videos in the near future, so watch out for those :)

allegory

once upon a time there was an intelligent and creative girl from a lower-middle-class white family in the New York City metro area. when the girl was little, she was told by everyone around her that, because she was smart, she could be anything she wanted when she grew up, as long as she got a good education. so the girl got straight A+s in elementary and middle school. she got into and attended one of the most prestigious public high schools in her city, and there she maintained an A average and joined the track team, the school's most demanding sports team. during the summer, the girl volunteered and interned at a variety of places, including a prestigious cancer research institute the summer after her junior year.

sometime around her junior year of high school, everyone around the girl began telling her something slightly different. people began telling her that she could be anything she wanted when she grew up, as long as she went to an Ivy League college. so the girl got into and attended an Ivy League college. granted, it was not the best Ivy League college, but it had the brand name, the prestige, and a good program in the girl's selected major. the girl chose a major that, although it wasn't her favorite subject, was something she found interesting enough, and that she thought would allow her a career that would make her useful to others.

then, in the fall of 2009, the girl went off to college. she hated it from day one. she couldn't relate to any of the people there, her mother was screwed over for financial aid and forced to pay $6300 a year for a tiny 18-square-foot section of a room that the girl shared with two other roommates, and the girl's classes were full of cutthroat premeds who had no love for the subject at all, and cared only for grades. the girl's anxiety and depression got much worse than they had been previously, and more incurable.

over the years, the school became known to the girl as a place of injustice and bullshit. the school sent police officers to the girl's room when she wanted to kill herself. these officers of the law disrespected the girl's constitutional rights; assaulted her; and then tackled her, took her to a mental hospital where they tied her up to a bed in a crucifixion position, and ultimately had her put on disciplinary probation at the school, when she attempted to fight back. when several other students at the school killed themselves, the school's solution was to cover up the suicides until enough of them had happened that that was impossible. the school's solution was then to put up posters and chalk sidewalk drawings all over campus that stated things like "you are loved!"

still, the girl pressed on. her classes were still good, for the most part, and her professors were interesting, and besides, if the girl got through this, she'd be able to do anything she wanted. right?

it was the end of the girl's junior year of college, and it was time to begin her job search. as the girl began thinking of things she could do with her degree, she realized that most of the jobs that she could get were dead-end jobs. now, the girl was beginning to hear something different from everyone around her. they were saying, "you can do anything you want when you grow up, if you go to graduate school."

the girl began to think. she thought, "I'm 20 years old. shouldn't I be 'growing up' sometime soon? why do I have to wait 6-8 more years in grad school to get to 'do whatever I want with my life'? why am I still a girl and not a woman? why does my mom mock me for having 'no experience of the real world,' when she's the one who sheltered me all these years and prevented me from experiencing that real world because I was 'the smart one'? in short, what the fuck?" the girl realized that she had thrown away her life in pursuit of a lie.

how to not fuck up your life: a helpful guide

1. when you somehow, magically, get into a relationship with someone who loves you who you love back, don't try to test them and see if they *really* care by acting like an asshole and doubting them at every turn. eventually, if you doubt them and upset them enough, they'll stop trusting you and stop loving you. the same goes for friendships. remember, good people are rare in this world, and if you do the above, you're not one of them.

2. when you're in school, focus on school. all emotions and other concerns don't matter. you were not put on this world to be happy; you were put on this world to achieve, and serve others. remember: you are their slave, and if you don't keep your nose to the ground at all times, you WILL be beaten down.

3. don't ever get angry or upset. remember, these emotions are unhealthy, and are largely illegal in the civilized world.

4. if you can't be happy at all times, settle for being emotionless.

5. don't follow your dreams. the economy is bad. just be grateful if you find a job that pays the bills.

6. if you're a young woman, especially an attractive one, you can't win. if you act friendly to a guy, he WILL think you are sexually interested in him, even if you're just being nice. if you have sex with a guy the first night you meet him, he'll think you're a slut and not worth pursuing anything serious with, but if you wait to become friends first, he'll think you're a bitch. however, you should dress as revealingly as you damn well want to. you are not at a statistically higher chance of being sexually assaulted, no matter what your mom says to try to scare you. so, wear a crop top on the F train if it's what your heart desires.

7. don't go to grad school unless you legitimately don't have anything better to do with your youth. life is too short, seriously.

8. watch The Wire. all of it.

9. take an Aristotelian approach to your diet. remember, it's ok to not eat if you're not hungry. similarly, it's ok to eat an entire bag of Wheat Thins every once in a while. just remember to eat a ton of fruits and vegetables and you'll always be thin.

10. remember, hard work often doesn't pay off. don't make it the central focus of your life.

11. if you are over the age of 18, you have trouble making friends or finding someone who is interested in you, and people treat you like shit, it's probably you that's the problem. try to figure out what you're doing wrong. I recommend Dale Carnegie's seminal book, How to Win Friends and Influence People.

12. just because you are into interesting things, doesn't mean that you yourself are interesting.

13. don't have borderline personality disorder.
14. don't buy more than you can afford. don't take on more than you can succeed at.
15. always remember: it's legal for a woman to go topless in NY state.

decent retail clothing for the girl with discerning taste: the first installment

so, I decided to make some major changes in the way I want to shop from now on, lately (did that make any sense?). I decided that from now on, I'm going to buy almost everything either from a thrift store, a vintage store, or ebay, which is both a vintage and thrift store to me. the only things I'm going to buy retail are things that would be either gross to buy or impossible to find at those three places: underwear/bras/socks/tights/leggings/etc., bathing suits, winterwear (like the super warm, ugly Lands' End kind, which is what's necessary in the climate I live in), jeans, denim/khaki shorts, basic tank tops and cardigans, certain types of shoes, etc. ok actually that's a lot of stuff now that I write it all down, but the point is, I planned not to buy any distinguishing pieces (is that a term?) from a retail store, because most of the time stuff from Forever 21/H&M/etc. costs more than vintage/thrift anyway, and is not as nice.

but then! I have bronchitis right now, and I decided to go online window-shopping on Forever 21 to cheer myself up. and I found that, while most of their dresses and tops are still either the totally ugly clothing items every sorority girl on my campus wears, or a cheap ripoff of stores that cheaply ripoff vintage (I'm looking at you, Urban Outfitters and your homophobic ilk), they actually have some stuff that I kind of want! so I decided to make a new feature, called "decent retail clothing for the girl with discerning taste," because I couldn't think of a better name, where I post affordable clothing items that I actually like. this is all stuff that I would try on if I theoretically had the money or time to go shopping. this feature will probably be sporadic, like most things on my blog (remember the places I want to travel to feature? yeah, someday I'll write the Eastern Hemisphere half of that), but here goes! this time around, I'm also going to review the different sections of Forever 21 based on my extensive experience shopping there.

Dresses:

it can be hard to find a good dress at Forever 21. many of the dresses look cheap, are completely see through, are way too trendy/everyone unpleasant who you see on the street has a dress just like it, or are a ripoff of vintage. dresses at Forever 21 tend to go through phases of being really good and really bad, and right now they're tending towards "really bad." the floral dresses are ok if you're too lazy to go vintage shopping for the better and cheaper versions of those items, but I don't have that problem. I did find a couple of dresses I liked though:

$17.80 -- here's an example of what the decent floral dresses at Forever 21 look like. I like the white waistband and neckline.

$24.80 -- this reminded me a lot of that Lanvin for H&M dress. and I am a total sucker for this type of taupe color. I don't like the straps though.

$19.90 -- this dress is so ridiculous, and was definitely my favorite of the bunch. even the model is like "huh?" yes, it is completely see-through. there's a slip underneath in the picture, thankfully, but then in the description it says "SLIP NOT INCLUDED." it looks mad goth, even though it's white lace instead of black. I would wear it with black lace tights just to fuck shit up.

Tops:

as I said before, most of Forever 21's tops will not be useful to anyone who isn't a dumb sorority girl with a raspy voice and dyed hair, who likes Skrillex. but their basic tank tops are pretty decent as long as you try them on first to make sure they aren't see-through. I would say the #1 piece of advice for Forever 21, but especially their tops, is to try everything on first and try to extrapolate what it will look like after 5 or 10 washes. try not to order online if you can help it. you can actually get things that hold up for a long time if you're careful.

they have way too many lace tops and none of them are particularly nice. they also have way too many of those tops that are supposed to be "slouchy" but actually just look like they don't fit. most of these are ugly and you should avoid them, unless you're going for the aforementioned college look. anyway, here are some things that I liked:

$5.80 -- the color and cut of this look to be pretty nice. I also like how it's fitted, instead of loose like most crop tops. it would be even better, and the pinnacle of 90s, if it had some sparkly silver threads woven into the fabric. (sidenote: we're STILL with the distressed denim?! come on people, let this trend die!)

$10.80 -- I mostly liked this because it reminds me of Rayanne Graff from My So-Called Life. I'm not really a fan of stripes though. too cheerful.

$14.80 -- I love this! it's a really nice print and awesome in a white trash kind of way.

$17.80 -- this would look awful on me, but it would look beautiful on some other people.

$17.80 -- this is so pretty, and I'm a total sucker for anything pale green. I would have to try it on first though to make sure the material was decent. it doesn't come with the tank top underneath. also I'm kind of freaked out that Forever 21 found a model who looks like a perfect morph of both "ethereal" characters on Skins -- Cassie and Grace.

Sweaters/Cardigans:

the cardigans are good. some of them are really nice and soft, a few of them have this gross synthetic feel. as I said before, you have to try them on first! I generally buy a size bigger than I actually am in sweaters and cardigans, so they will be warm and enveloping. I've never really found sweaters (ie. the kind you pull over your head) that I liked at Forever 21. they usually have some weird fit issues or material issues going on. but maybe that's just me. all of the cardigans that I liked were not that interesting, so I'm not going to post pictures.

Outerwear:

most of the outerwear looks pretty similar, ie. peacoats/trenchcoats, blazers, and cropped jackets. I once had the most amazing pale pink trenchcoat winter coat from there, made out of this fluffy material (it was like fake fur but not as furry), and it was actually warm! but it got destroyed by general wear, sitting on the subway, and that one time when I got drunk and lost the tie that went around it, and I had to get rid of it. I didn't really find any outerwear that stood out to me this time around. EXCEPT FOR the vests.

 $22.90 -- this is so 90s it hurts. a floral print sleeveless denim vest? really? the dress they put it over in the photo totally doesn't go with it at all though. I would wear it with a vintage dress from the 90s, OBVIOUSLY.

 $22.80 -- this is awful in a Disney Channel way, which makes it kind of good.

Bottoms:

I wouldn't buy any shorts from Forever 21 that aren't denim, because the other ones usually tend to fit weird. I also wouldn't buy any jeans that are colored/patterned, unless I wanted to look like a 14-year-old and/or a cliche. the tights are pretty good if they're the thick fall/spring kind or the netted kind. the sheer kind will rip right away. the plain leggings are good. the skirts generally aren't very good and tend to fit weirdly, but that may just be my personal issue with skirts in general. I've found some good skirts there though, like the one I wore in my last outfit post. just don't buy any skirts with an elastic waistband because it will be really uncomfortable.

$20.99 -- this skirt is ridiculous! if you're unsure what you're looking at, it's a sheer maxi skirt with velvet flowers. I think it would look good on my friend W. (if you're reading this!) I'm a total sucker for velvet in jewel toned colors.

Rompers -- not unless you want to look like Lindsay Lohan. there are good rompers in the world, but alas, they are not to be found at Forever 21. the leotards actually look kind of decent though and I've always secretly wanted one.

Swimwear -- I have a funny story about swimwear, actually. last year, I went shopping for a bathing suit at Burlington Coat Factory because I realized I needed a new one at the last minute. I found a blue/pink/green floral print top and a black-and-white polka dot bottom that I liked, and I was like "ok fuck it" and bought them and wore them together. over spring break, I was at Forever 21 and I happened to notice in the bathing suit section, they had a bikini that was the exact same floral print as the bikini top I bought last year. I almost bought the bottom but then I was like "fuck it, I like my mismatched bikini, I'd rather spend my money elsewhere."

$22.80 -- I'm glad Forever 21 has finally gotten on the "pinup girl bathing suit" bandwagon, because I've always liked this style. I wish it came in red though.

$19.80 (for both top and bottom) -- this print is mad late 90s. I like it. it may be a bit too trashy for me though.

Shoes -- I'm not a fan, but the kids like them! you can find some ok shoes at Forever 21 but I didn't really see anything that stood out. might also be because I have enough shoes right now.

Jewelry -- the jewelry section has all these great pendant necklaces and giant sparkly rings and earrings. necklace pendants I've seen before include: a pea pod, with faux-pearl peas in a faux-gold pod (I have this one and have featured it on the blog many times before), a vanity with a mirror, and a jewel chest that actually opens and has little sparkly "jewels" inside. the quality tends to decrease proportional to the size and weight of the item. I didn't look at jewelry online because the sheer volume of that section of the website gives me a panic attack, but you'll definitely find something that you like.

this post was insanely long! I hope you guys got something useful out of it, though.

?!

wtf is this new Blogger format? it makes no goddamn sense!

I haven't been wearing anything interesting or doing anything with my life besides schoolwork and being sad, so that's why I haven't updated in a while. I don't know when I'll update again. it probably won't be for a while.

also, I think I'm turning into Daria.

also also, the post before this one was my blog's 100th post, which I forgot to mention at the time. yay.